The Silver Falcon by Katia Fox

Author:Katia Fox [Fox, Katia]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: AmazonEncore
Published: 2013-06-04T00:00:00+00:00

On the day they expected the Saracen in the mews, Robert was very excited indeed. He scurried back and forth, straightened his clothes, ran his hands through his hair constantly, chattered unceasingly, and, finally, without saying a word to William, disappeared into the forest so as not to encounter the man.

He could not get the images from the charcoal-burner’s hut out of his head. The black man’s powerful thighs and his well-rounded buttocks had had more effect on Robert than the girl’s pale and low-slung bottom. The play of muscles beneath the dark, glistening skin had got Robert’s blood up and aroused him in ways that were forbidden and frightening. Why was it not the breasts and sex of a woman that brought lustful thoughts into his head, but the muscular chest and potent member of the Saracen? The priest had once spoken of such aberrations at Sunday mass, declaring them “against nature” and condemning them in the strongest terms. Robert knew that the Lord damned those who opened the door to such thoughts, punishing them with exclusion from paradise and letting them burn in hell.

The night after the thunderstorm, he had dreamed about William. He was naked beside him, and they were touching each other. Aroused and deeply ashamed, Robert had woken up in terror. For fear that William would notice, he had run outside to cool himself off with ice-cold water from the spring. It was the Saracen’s fault; it was the sight of him that had inflamed Robert, opening a door inside him that now he could not shut. He found himself imagining things he would never have thought himself capable of; provocative, deeply shameful images flashed through his head. The Saracen was desirable, but William was so much more than that. He couldn’t even wrestle with him without getting excited. Never again would he touch him except when their work demanded it.

Robert covered his face with his hands. He was a disgusting monster, and he deserved to burn in hell until the end of time. In fact, the Saracen was probably the devil’s messenger. Robert ran through the forest, bewailing his terrible fate, praying and begging for forgiveness. He swore not to bring down guilt upon himself but knew he wouldn’t succeed. The flame sparked within him by the sight of the Saracen was still glowing. Robert forced himself not to stoke it further with thoughts of William. He knew he was born to suffer all his life, and beyond it in death, and felt eternal shame for it.

He did not go back to the mews until after dark.

“Where have you been?” William snapped. “I thought you wanted to hear what the Saracen had to say about hoods.”

Robert did not answer.

“What’s the matter, Robert?”

“I’m damned,” murmured Robert as he got into his bed and rolled up in his blanket.

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